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Published March 10th, 2014 at 10:00 am EST/EDT
firesongblog

In late December, 1999, I was twelve. I left Cleveland, Ohio, where I was living at the time, to visit my dad in Indianapolis for the second week of my Christmas break. I know that at least one night during that week, we stayed at the house of two of his friends. I’ve long forgotten the reason why, but that’s not important. What is important is that that was the day I met the man who is now my husband.

I was instantly attracted to him, but shy. It didn’t help matters that I knew he was significantly older than me. So we got to know each other a little bit at my dad’s friends’ house—he was there because he was also friends with our hosts—and then I returned to Cleveland after New Year’s and didn’t think anything more about him.

See, at the time, I was in love—or thought I was in love—with a boy I knew through my mom’s primary social group. And I was a bit heartsick, because he was utterly uninterested. I did get over him. It helped that that following summer, after I turned thirteen, I once more went to Indianapolis to visit my dad, and this time, we were again staying at the same friends’ house.

Side track explanation time: My dad lived in Vermont at the time, but returned to Indy for his summer visitation, because this is where my sister and I are from, and thus, have a lot of friends and family here. Our dad also had a lot of friends there, so it was really best for everyone to just return to the familiar stomping grounds.

So my dad and I are staying with his friends, and their friend Sean is also often at the house because, well, he’s their friend. This time when we met, there were sparks. We knew that there really shouldn’t have been sparks—we discovered the age difference was actually ten years, not less than that, as Sean had thought (he mistook me for older). But we fell in love that summer, despite knowing we were in for a whole lotta heartache.

But five years later, I turned eighteen and returned to Indianapolis to live with him.

Five years after that, we were married.

And three years after that, I wrote this song for him as an anniversary present. I kept it secret for about six months, even going so far as to have a secret meeting with my good friend Cernowain Greenman of Greenman and the Muse to get the song chorded. Then at a house concert in August, a couple of weeks after our actual anniversary, Cern was nice enough to accompany me while I performed the song for Sean as a surprise. You can watch me sing it really terribly on YouTube. I hadn’t much time to practice the song with the guitar, so my performance was pretty shaky.

But that didn’t matter. It just mattered that Sean loved (and still loves) the song, and that I am so incredibly lucky to have a partner with whom I fall in love all over again every day.

In a Hundred Different Ways
Lyrics and music by Katt McConnell

I packed up my dreams
       and took them with me that summer—
It’s been so long now,
I can’t recall
What all
Was on my mind.
But I never conceived
       what we would be to each other,
Or just what I’d be lucky enough to find.

       I couldn’t believe what was happening—
       That it was then, and it was you.
       I counted all the ways it was wrong
       And it was right,
       Then took a leap—and said, “I love you, too”.

               I cannot sound the depths
               Of the heart you stole away,
               And how I feel, mere language
               Cannot possibly convey.
               So you may never see it, love,
               But each and every day
               I fall for you all over again
               In a hundred different ways.

I hoped that love would be
       somewhere in my future.
I was content to wait
For the day
When it found its way
To me.
Loneliness is a difficult
       storm to weather,
But we each found a port in the endless sea.

       We knew what we were in for at first,
       That the difference and distance were great.
       But in the end, the time and heartache
       Were worth it,
       For good things always come to those who wait.

               I cannot sound the depths
               Of the heart you stole away,
               And how I feel, mere language
               Cannot possibly convey.
               So you may never see it, love,
               But each and every day
               I fall for you all over again
               In a hundred different ways.

So now here we are, together,
       some thirteen years later.
We’ve shown the ones
Who claimed
That time
Wasn’t on our side.
Nothing I am in my life
       will ever be greater
Than being the one you chose to be your bride.

       I don’t know what the future will bring,
       But it’s enough that I get to hold you today.
       We have a love that’s only common
       In fairytales,
       And that’s not something even time can take away.

               I cannot sound the depths
               Of the heart you stole away,
               And how I feel, mere language
               Cannot possibly convey.
               So you may never see it, love,
               But each and every day
               I fall for you all over again
               In a hundred different ways.



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